The Top 7 Mistakes You Must Avoid When Trying To Get Back Your Ex
In your desperation to get back your ex, it's very easy to make mistakes that could not only hamper reconciliation, but destroy any chance of reunion at all.
So take tome to gather your thoughts and put together a plan for success.
But before you embark on creating your plan to get back your ex, stop and think for a while and make sure you avoid the most common mistakes made by people trying so hard to get back their ex.
1st
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't keep telling your ex how much you love
them!
Quite simply, your love for your ex, on it's own isn't enough to get you back together. You need more than that. Sorry, but "love does not conquer all!" Don't get me wrong, it's definitely part of the jigsaw, but more is required for a successful relationship.
What's needed is for your ex to rekindle their desire for you. It's important to regain the passion and excitement you have for each other. If you can do that... and you can... then you'll both fight to keep your relationship alive.
There are many things you can do to rekindle your relationship, but constantly expressing you love for you ex is definitely not one of them!
2nd
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't try the sympathy angle!
One thing's for certain, your ex won't be attracted to a whimpering, depressed or constantly sad person! Will they respect you if you're constantly wallowing in self-pity?
NO!
So avoid this at all costs!
Now's the time to break out and show your ex how strong you are. You need to be friendly, happy and optimistic. Show your ex how motivated you are and how strong you are... not the opposite!
You ex will not feel sorry for you if you if you spend your life moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. It will just reinforce their reasons for splitting up in the first place. So don't go there!
Start to make yourself more attractive...
Dress well...
Be positive at all times...
Show your ex that you're happy and optimistic...
Be strong and confident... even if you don't feel it on the inside!
Start to achieve your goals and create success in all areas of your life.
3rd
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't Manipulate Your Ex
If you really want to get back your ex, avoid manipulating them in any way, shape or form! Using your kids, money, sex or anything else to try and entice them back will simply build resentment... and that's a recipe for disaster!
Telling you ex they're a "lousy parent" and "they should do more with the kids" etc., will simply cause them to dig in and will build resentment.
Don't offer money in an attempt to make your ex indebted to you.
Don't try and entice them into bed.
Even if these or other manipulative techniques work, you'll be building resentment ant that's not a good basis for a long-lasting, happy relationship.
Trying to manipulate your ex, reflects very badly on you as a person and will not, I repeat not, help you win them back or create a loving relationship... so don't do it... under any circumstances!
4th
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't try to persuade your ex to return!
People can generally only be persuaded to do something they actually wanted to do in the first place! OK, that's not always the case, but most times it is!
Look at it this way, if you want to buy something, you go and take a look at it, get some advice from helpful sales assistants and... generally you'll end up buying from the one who was... yes, you guessed it... the most persuasive!
However, if you go into a shop wanting to buy something, say a new mobile phone, and the assistant attempts to sell you new cooker, you're very unlikely to buy one... no matter how persuasive they are!
Look, right at this moment your ex has decided they're better off without you. They've made a decision and no amount of persuasion, reasoning or arguing will make them change there mind. In fact it will almost certainly have the opposite effect... it'll cause them to reinforce the reasons you split up in the first place, because you'll be forcing them to come up with counter-arguments to the points you're trying to make!
So, as with the previous 3 mistakes, if you want to get back your ex... forget about persuasion, reasoning or arguments as to why you make such a great couple... it simply won't work!
5th
Mistake to Avoid...
Telling your ex, "I've changed"!
Look, this one's very simple!
You can change, anyone can change. I'm a Life Improvement Coach and I know you can change... and maybe you have! But simply telling your ex, "I've changed", won't help.
Quite simply, you have to show your ex you've changed. If you're a new person then show it...
In the way you are with them and other people...
In your attitude...
In your personality...
In fact, in everything you do!
Show your ex, just what a fantastic person you are!
So, this one's simple... it's no good telling someone you've changed... you have to show them you've changed!
6th
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't accept that you're not good enough!
This one may seem a bit strange, but when someone breaks off a relationship with you, there's a tendency to feel inadequate... to feel as though you're not good enough.
Put bluntly... you've been "dumped" and you feel rejected.
But wait!
The thing to remember here, is it's the relationship that's been rejected... not you!
Read that again...
And again, if you don't get it...
Your ex has rejected the relationship, not you. your ex has decided your relationship isn't working.
So don't take it personally. What's needed is to repair the relationship, not you.
At this point, start to work on building up your own self-esteem and confidence. You deserve the best in life, everyone does! And don't you forget it! And so does your ex... that's why the deserve you!
So, cast aside pride and don't let your ego be hurt. Keep faith in yourself and stay strong.
7th
Mistake to Avoid...
Don't leave everything to fate!
Nice as it sounds, I'm sorry, but life doesn't just happen. You are where you are now because of decisions you've made, and you'll end up somewhere because of decisions you're going to make. Those decisions lead to actions and every action has an effect... either on you or the people around you or both!
Look this is simple, you and your ex may be "made for each other", but unless you take the right actions you'll never be back together.
Hey, don't panic!
There's definitely a way out of this and there's definitely a way you and your ex can get back together. But you cannot leave it to fate. It won't just happen. You have to instigate the process and make it happen... just as you do with everything in life.
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your ex!
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If you want to get back with you ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend read "The Magic Of Making Up by T. W. Jackson" right now... it's by far the best place to start.
